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terrible twos.

(may 2000)
I got the bill the other day and paid it up promptly...

It didn't hit me 'till last night - is two years old. Guys, we've hit the terrible twos.

Not that that really means a whole lot, not that we're like a major force on the web or anything, but it's still pretty fucking cool.

Other than my time in the reserves, running is the longest job I've ever held. How's that for a thought. I was talking to a friend the other day and he asked if I had a "mission statement" for slappyjack.

I almost wet myself laughing.

Then I thought that most sites like SlappyJack, and by that I mean personal sites, and by that I'm talking about a lot of sites that are a bajillion times better than this one; These sites are older then most startups out there.

Whats our "burn rate"? About $300 year, fuck you.

Where do we get our readers? We give content and they find us, pusshead. Shove your MBA up your ass.

Profit? Well, since most of the people that I actually "know" with vanity sites have gotten really cool gigs doing just webstuff and our salaries are anywhere between $40 - $100 k a year.... uhm...
We're makin a profit, thank you very much.

Exit Strategy? Fuck you. I do this because I love it.

So I came up with a mission statement: promises to attempt the following at all times:
  1. stands for mocking corporations untill
    they get their greed-driven asses off of the web

  2. strives to be a center of stupid activities,
    the reason we have a web in the first place

  3. I will always be open to outside ideas.

  4. I will always, always, always shamelessly self-promote

    [ my boyfriend Filthy has these to add:]

  5. "To uphold the integrity and honesty that is Slappyjack, until a phat offer comes in from Coca Cola."

  6. "To change the view of impressionable people who know little about the Internet and aren't sticklers for grammar and spelling."

Anyhow. This'll stay up for a while. I'll be ranting again soon enough. Go send some postcards.

Slap Out.

22 May 00

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