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keep on grindin on...

Yet another job change happening. I didn't even quit this job. Moronic Film Company that owned us couldn't get their brains around the fact that we weren't just a printshop that saved paper by making magazines electronically.

I tell you, I'f I was a WWII bomber pilot I think I'd average a new plane about every five missions.

Dumbasses. This was probably the best design team I've ever seen. IF you got a couple hundred K laying around and want a group of cool people to build you a site, click the email link below... I'll hook you up with them.

Probably won't be there with them - i think i kinda scared them when I'd play CounterStrike in full cammies in the mornings before I started working.


This went up on craigslist today:

Subject: (resumes) From-the-hip Web Application Engineer

Resume for SlappyJack, Web Engineer and wise cracker.
Feel free to email me with offers, Im not sure if I want contract or full-time, 
so don't pressure me.

If you contact me, I expect:
~ You read the WHOLE resume
~ If you're serious, you'll have looked at the site
~ You have overlooked my poor typing

If you contact me, you can expect:
~ I will be honest on the phone. I don't have the business sense to BS people.
~ Me to not fill out any Questionnaires
~ Me to not send you a copy of my resume in Word Format
~ I will have an HTML version of the resume if you want something nice 
  to print
~ If you blatantly show that you haven't read any of this, I WILL mock 
  you publicly on my website and possibly others.

email: slappyjack-at-slappyjack-dot-com 

                                                           -- Skills --
Web engineering running the gambit from writing HTML (Homesite, Notepad,
even vi), javascript, Perl (with ODBC experiences), PHP (3 and 4), and 
Cold Fusion. 

Experience with administering NT 4.0, running IIS 4 as well as Netscape 
Enterprise Server (3.6).  Linux experience in administering Apache. You
can even say I know how to set up LANs, but I don't wanna do that.

Database experience includes MySQL, MS SQL Server 6.5 & 7, and even 
some Oracle and Sybase.  It all comes down to using ANSI SQL well, 

Well, as far as web apps are concerned, and that's what I do.

On top of all that, I can even fumble around in Photoshop and do a lit-
tle bit of Flash in a pinch.

                                                       -- Experience --
Contracted as lead engineer for the redesign of e-commerce site that 
actually turns a profit. 

Total Creative, Inc.
Lead Engineer
HTML Engineering of pages from designers comps using pre- and self-cut 
images.  Also designed a php-driven extranet site from scratch, working
with Producers to create a MySQL-driven dynamic web-based system for 
interacting and communicating with clients.
Content Engineer
Cold Fusion Development of Internal Applications and general support for
content production. Wrote and configured, which hosts 
all surveys for quokka properties as well as the application for survey 
generation. Currently working on content tracking/network awareness 
Cold Fusion Developer
Contractor working in the Application group for Electronic Arts' Online
department (backend DB was Oracle 8). Applications developed include
Beta Tester and Tournament registration and control, as well as modifying 
and streamlining the online editing interface for Content Editors on the website.

Alpha Interactive Group, Inc.
Web systems Administrator
Responsible for all computer operations for web hosting/design company.
Involved in development of database driven dynamic web applications,
consulting work on client's internal networks, and all client requested

                                                        -- Education --

Knowledge Alliance (ATEC), Aurora, CO
MCSE Certification Courses: 578, 922, 803, 689, 688, & 936
Networking Essentials Test Completed (896/1000)

Red Rocks Community College, Lakewood, CO
AAS Network Administration

State University of New York at Oswego, Oswego, NY

Cayuga Community College, Auburn, NY
AA Liberal Arts, Magna cum Laude

Rochester Institute of Technology

                                                        -- Interests --
Theatre, Television and Film, Rugby, Amateur Philosophy and Science.

                           -- Military - United States Army Reserves --

1209th USArmy Garrison, Mattydale, NY
Personnel Records Specialist. Attained rank of Specialist (E-4).
Honorably discharged in 1996.

                                             -- What I'm looking for...

I'd like to find a place where professional isn't defined by the 
clothing you wear, but by your skills and your ability to push and 
expand them. An environment where I can learn new things is paramount.
I'm mainly into the scripting side of things, but I'd be interested in 
moving into other areas of site production.


Email Me.  

I've already got one contract i'm working on, so I'm not home a lot, 
and to be honest, I don't need 400 phone messages from people that 
just mine names and numbers out of this thing every morning.

Plain Text emails given extreme precedence.


it's ok to contact this poster if you are a potential employer or other 

I know I'm STILL going to have 5 fucking email messages tomorrow when I get home.

Slap Out.

5 July 00

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