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Weak-ass, yet informative, update for today

I got this in an amail at work today:
to opt out of doubleclick's cookie (you are assigned a unique id for ad tracking etc.), go here:

note that this will not get rid of banner ads, and that it will probably mean you will see the same ad a lot (because they don't know you've already seen it). it does mean that you will not appear in their infographics database.

At first I thought nothing of it, and then I got this about 2 minutes later:

doubleclick recently acquired abacus direct, manager of "the nation's largest proprietary database of consumer catalog buying behavior used for target marketing purposes." doubleclick plans to link online activities with personally identifying information.,1151,9261,00.html

I read it and that got me to thinking about the whole tracking users for marketing gain bullshit thats running rampant on the internet today..

"how many eyeballs does your site get?"

"We have 30,000 unique visitors a day!"

Hey, suit. Fuck you.

We don't gove a good goddamn that you get eyeballs looking at your fucking site.

We don't care how much traffic you have due to the 30 second spot you just had on the Super "This used to be a sporting event and now its just another function for suits to get all worked up over and show off their luxury box tickets and cream all over themselves about how they just got 256 million fucking eyeballs" Bowl.

We'd rather have rabid weasels stuffed in our asses than hear another dumbfuck that sat through 192 credit hours of MBA classes talk about target demographics and advertising and the ultimate in self-ego-fellating "community building".

Wipe your ass with your information mining, we dont fucking care. We don't want you touching our hard drives and then telling us a month later we can "opt-out" if we so desire. You think we'd let you hook-up to our phone and see who we call for business?

Fuck no.

The government would have your asses in jail if you just "...went ahead and tapped their lines, but they can 'opt-out' if they want..."

Tell it to the judge, sparky.

Anyhow, to get beyond just yelling "fuck you"a lot (not that we all don't just enjoy the shit out of it), there are ways we can go beyond just deleting the cookies they dump on our boxes opn a daily basis.

  • Use the Opt-Out function immediately upon starting your browser
  • Learn how cookies work. You can tell which cookie beloings to whom because they're labelled by the domain they came from.
  • Delete your cookies all the time (so long as you dont need them for anything). You can get tothem on a windows box by doing a search for cookie in your filesystem. Netscape uses a single text file, MSIE gives each cookie its own text file, and will save thousands of the little fuckers. Mac users? I dont know, and most of you don't care.
  • When you notice a cookie in your box and you dont know what its for or who its from, go to that domain and ask them why the fuck are they using storage space on your machine. You don't get an opt-out option? Call the Better Business Bureau.

Fuck it, you get my point. Theres a lot of annoying things we can do. Just do them. Tell the suits were not going to let them turn the web into the debacle that most other public communication has become. Tell them we don't fucking CARE that we can get a tracking cookie that will maybe one-in-a-million get us ten thousadnd dollars.

You want us to look at your site, give us content. Good content, not the shit we get on TV and in supposed news mags like NewsWeek and the soon-to-be-rectally-fucked-by-AOL Time.

Remember kiddies, that link is:

As soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know how you can fuck with DoubleClick's cookie by hand. Maybe we can convince them the world spends ALL its time at porn sites or something.

Be sure to tell them what assholes they are.

Crap. I'm so Irritated I cant think straight. Maybe I'll come back later and fix the awful layout and disjointedness of this, but probably not.

Slap Out.

31 Jan 00

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