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fightin' wif da wife.

TLoML put up her redesign yesterday, ahead of schedule, so she'd have something to do at work, where she was terminally bored.

She tells me to go look at it, which I do, and being a web-nazi i must give her a few notes.

No, I'm not a controll freak, not at all. If you're gonna put stuff up, out it up right...

(i'm sure the fact that I do this shit for a living now makes me extra-anal about the whole thing - sue me.)
...and I get THIS as the reply.

to put it in the words of one of the greatest actors of the 20th century:

"of course, you realise, this means war."
-Buggs Bunny                    

Yeah, like i'm not going to torture you all with this...

So Miss SnottyPants decides the whole world has to see what a gigantic asshole I am and makes me the subject fo the newest entry with the following comments:

Anyway, today.
New site is SPANKIN, baby. Good stuff.

few notes, of course:

Yes, of course. Lest I do anything without commentary from the great and unflappable Slap.
BIO PAGE: Still no mention of us being married, you shit. (not that I have room to talk, but I havent redesigned yet)

Just so we all know, I've fixed that "issue." Is this prominent enough? I don't know. Perhaps a big wedding bell graphic? But yeah, like there's any mention of us being married on his page, WHICH HE HASN'T DONE JACK ON REDESIGNING YET.

Is it "prominent enough"? Uhm... no, actually.

See, I think that as wedding tradition dictates, I should be the most important thing in her life now and that entire first screenful of her bio should ba all about me, in large type.
In red.
Maybe even with a <blink> tag.

But at least this is a start. Hopefully she can get that wedding bell graphic on there soon, along with a beautiful midi file I found for emphasis...

As far as my redesign goes - I will not deliver a page before its done, and I just can't find the exact proper way to express my full heartfelt adoration of my new wife.. thats what's holding it up.


even though she is a shit.

LINKS PAGE: I'm still listed behind tjfucker, you shit. (not that I have room to talk, but I havent redesigned yet)

All I'm saying, the links are in the order I read them in the morning. That is all. But yeah, like he has room to talk Mr. HASN'T UPDATED THE LINKS SECTION OF HIS PAGE IN MONTHS.

You see how she is? Notice how she didn't even do a fix for it? See what I have to live with on a dasily basis now?

First I thought I was only competing with the goddamn cats, now I gotta watch out for tj and his page, which - by the way - has far better writing than this rag...

...and she brings up the redesign again! Not only am I expected to code my fingers to the bone all damn day long, with only the occasional two-hour breaks to play Quake Arena, and now she wants me to work harded to get my personal site in line, too???

I give and I give and I give, and this is what I get for it.


podpics: See Bio Page, you shit.

See the fix. And he apparently hadn't checked the actual title tag on that page, nor had he moused over the picture. Yeah.

ooooh, yeah. That title shore is a feat of humor for sure, sweetie. Yeah, it shore is.

You should write for television, you're so goddamn funny.

Loks especially clean. I like it a lot.


3. 2. & 1. all run together...

and on that:
1. "Did I give you that bruise or is that from boxing?" i will never ask you that question. IKONW where I gove you bruises, and if you come home from teh gym with them, i'd be very upset....

Ahem. He knows where he gives me bruises because then the next day I have to give him the beat down for leaving bruises, including this nice two inch in diameter one between my breasts right now. It was like he was eating lunch after a trip to Zaire or something.

That was wrong.

i know my spelling/typing is atrocious - blow me.

Three Comments:

  1. The Zaire thing was about the funniest thing on the page, even if my feeble brain didn't get it till the 3rd reading.
    and she loved it anyhow...
  2. There was NO beating down in the slightest. I don't care how tough she is or what she tells you guys, whenever she starts with me, she loses.
  3. She just likes to talk about sex on her page, especially when she can refer to her own breasts.

So NOW you all can see why the hell I don't update as often as I have in the past. I'm busy dealing with her every damn day.

...but enough of this...

The only reason, dear reader, I just went into this whole thing is because I really don't have a whole helluva lot to gripe about for now. I'm about as content as I've ever been - even if her keeblerness does insist on putting up whack half-done redesigns.

I only talked about my wife for 500 words mainly to piss off The Filthy Critic (mandatory link here).

The redesign IS coming sometime soon, as is a whole 'nuther site where entries like this will be the norm. (because as Budha says, "You're nothing these days if you aren't associated with at least 3 different domains...")

Keep checking the sites and we'll let you know.

Slap Out.

16 Dec 99

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