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tv is shit

We're sitting around the house. Taking a break from the work on the Apartment we've been doing all weekend, and I'm switching all through the channels...

...because due to the fact that I live in San Francisco I can only see Niner and Raider games on network TV these days because the NFL is run by a bunch of money-grubbing asshole greed-driven cocksuckers that want me to PAY to see more than my local teams on network TV.

Where the fuck is my normal Sunday Double Header, hunh? Why the hell am I stuck watching one team I couldn't give less of a shit about and the other I fucking HATE when there are a half-dozen other games on?

Because you all are a bunch of greedy old men, you pricks.

end mini-rant

...and I see this show...

Its like American Gladiators, so I of course stop to watch it - Who doesn't like American Gladiators - and there is this thing like where they're on this big spinning triangle thing playing King of The Hill or something. One of the guys is Obviously a contestant, because he's smaller, and the other guy is this ENORMOUS guy with pulled up dreads and some paint of a lightning bolt on his face. We later learn his name is "Cuda"

Cuda has no problem keeping athletic yet skinnier little white boy off the top of the mountain and he stalks around and we go to commercial.

I run to get the TV guide, and I find out the show is called BATTLE DOME.

We get back from commmercial and Cuda is gewaring up to fight another guy for dominance of the mountain... I look away to get on the dork box and J starts yelling "OHMYGAWD!!! HE'S SPNKING THE OTHER GUY!

The "Battle" is obviously over, and they go to replay and we see in the wrestling the "Normal Contestant" kinda has his shorts slide down and "Cuda" pulls down the man's underwear and starts spaking his bare ass

This was on at 3 in the afternoon. Naked Man Ass was on TV at 3 this afternoon.

It has its own webpage, with this in the friggin intro:

Battle Dome is an intense new extreme sports competition pitting two teams of amateur athletes (The Challengers) against a team of super athletes (The Battle Dome Warriors). The main objective of The Battle Dome Warriors is to stop and conquer the challengers as they fight their way through the events. Each one-hour program is a spectacle of raw, in-your-face, extreme physical competition.
Yeah. Extreme.

If you look around a little, BTW, you'll find out that this is put out by SONY PICTURES.

After finding the webpage I go back to watching the show, which is proving itself to be a bit more than extreme - its downright barbaric.

They have this event where they two guys both wear harnesses that want to pull them to the ceiling. They hold onto these handholds on teh floor and the contrestant has to get across the floor and hit these buttons to score points. The "Super Athletes" have to get the other guy to let go and fly up to the ceiling and look like a dork dangling from a wire.

Seemed like a cool idea, untill it started.

Within 5 seconds they contestant has a "Super Warroir" named Bubba on his back wailing the shit out of his arm - at the elbow. As in "You're going to let go of that floor or I'm going to break your fucking arm."

Apparently the constestants can't hit back, or at least these guys weren't

It was really disturbing. Of course, J and I stopped everything we were doing to watch the rest or the show...

After that was "Blind Date". All that needs to be said is that it should be called "Lets take two Shallow People, make sure the Chick has a least a Decent Ass, and See if They Fuck."

This was actually MORE disturbing.

I dont have any more commentary to give on the whole thing other than to say:

Don't Shoot your TV, but if you get the chance - Shoot Television Executives.

Something needs to be done. let them know what Crap this is.

Kiss My Ass, Sony Pictures. We deserve better than this.

Slap Out

14 Nov 99

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