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hunh ?

So we got us some controversy we been jawing about these days...

An official body in Kansas (I forgot if it was the Legislature or the state school board) has decreed:

Evoloution? Its a myth.

My buddy asks, "Then why do we have tailbones?" This leads me to the following line of thought:

  • According to Kansas, we were officially created in God's Image.
  • We have tailbones: thus, The Big G has a tailbone.
  • Why does the big G have a tailbone?
  • Big G evolved.
  • From a monkey.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Send your comments, hate mail, and bomb threats to:

slappyjack@slappyjack.com

Yes, you can now add the politicians in kansas to the growing list of people who can kiss my ass.


In leiu of an actual full update; filler...

Lameass resopnse to J's vacation notes.

Go read it and I'll be here waiting for you with my take on the week she spent with me...
(and, if you got half a clue, you can task switch between windows...)

...greg proceeds to give both slap and my [sic] (but mostly me) a lecture...

"mortified embarassment" is an understatement. I was never aware that I could scrunch up that freakin much.

...slap took thursday off of work and we proceeded to do nothing all day but lay on the couch. you see how he saps my motivation? a year with him and my ass is going to be the size of my mother's...

I will not be the one to blame for her ass getting that big. Nor will I take the bame for the grey hair.

...we saw the imax on "mysteries of egypt." omar shariff was in it...

WRONG! Omar Shariff was it.

...we all picked on slap because he's an easy target...

You wanna talk about grey hairs?

Try dating budha for two months. I don't have this many 'cause i'm thirty...

...speaking of slap, he did the best boyfriend thing ever...isn't he cute?...

Unbelievably, I get one good mention this time. I knew it was a good buy when I heard this EXTREMELY GIRLY "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW, He just wants to be held" upon seeing the little blighter.

...arnie gave slap his thirty spankings. i can't say more to that...

Arnie spanked me, yes. I did try to get away.
He also outweights me by about 30 pounds.
we don't call him 'hoss' for nothing.

..."the iron giant"...

it's supposed to be good. 'nuff said.

...and she wore the skirt without that much trauma. Don't believe her.

...game sucked, but it was nice to sit outside all day...

the game did not suck. she's just a sore loser.

...slap ate both granola and sugar free yogurt and garden burgers. and he liked them....

As I said before: elves lie.

...with pressure from both his mother and myself...

She's kissing up to my mother.
toughguy my ass.

...i have no agenda...

to say it again: elves are liars.

All in all, a great time.

Thing that was conveniently forgotten:

  • She started with me, I gave her a gigantic ass-kicking.
    (conveniently forgotten, eh, J?)

Yeah, I know you all hate the gush, but I got the best girlfriend ever .

Slap Out

31 Aug 99

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