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Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts

A couple weeks ago, Kimme and her girlfriends went to see Shakespeare in Love. I poo-poohed it as a chick flick and went to the bar with Hoss.

They come home raving about the film and how good it was and I was thinking "yeah, right, for a chick flick"

I couldn't have been more wrong.

A few days later Kimme lets loose with a point that will drive men in droves to see this flick:

In this film, you get:
Gwyneth Paltrow's Bare Breasts.

Being a standard male human, this raised my interest in this film about a million times, so last night we went to see it. Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts I had been hearing the critics saying this should give a good run for best picture and they couldn't have been more on the mark.

The performances were all-around outstanding (not to mention Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts). The characters were all engaging, and the story was actually interesting.

I was totally floored by the fact that something came out of Hollywood was this original and didn't get turned into a gigantic pile of shit by Hollywood and it's fear of the test audience. The writers must have had some kind of contract where they got paid an incredibly paltry sum in exchange for the studio keeping its touch of shit away from the project but still got to work with Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts.

There were a few "chick flick" scenes, but they were balanced out by well done humor (someone actually came up with NEW JOKES!) and a great story that took real people, made up a totally fictional story about them, and didnt totally try to rewrite history with it. There were also a few scenes with Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts.

The Main setting of the film is when Shakespeare was writing, or trying to write, Romeo and Juliet. The end of the movie manages to show the entire play in about 15 minutes - amazing. As were Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts. Everyone in the film does an amazing job with the Shakespearian style, even Ben Affleck, which surprised me a little (even though he still looked like "cool guy" through the entire film)

I'm hoping lots of people go see this movie, for whatever reason it may be. Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts. Why? Because you cannot watch it without wanting to see Romeo and Juliet in its entirety, and thats a good thing.

Maybe, just maybe, this film could mark the beginning of entertaining films that are FOR the great unwashed, but aren't INFLUENCED by the great unwashed. Maybe it will also mark a long string of films starring Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts.

Ah, I can dream....

of Gwyneth Paltrow's Breasts

Slap out.

24 Jan 98

[Ed. Note - So two years after I wrote this, this is one of the biggest pages to bring in traffic to my site.
Of course, none of you bastards ever stick around.
The thing I just realised is that I was spelling Ms. Paltrow's first name wrong. Its not "Gwenyth Paltrow", its "Gwyneth Paltrow"

I've updated the spelling. Lets see how many people I get now. Sorry for fucking your name up, Gwyen. I apologise wholeheartedly.

And I still love your breasts.]

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