Go Read This.
Yes, GWB was elected, as I knew he would be - becuase this counrty is full of morons. Yes,
I'm still working on that show - Soft open is next week. Yes, I'm more divorced and unlaid
than ever. Yes, I'm still suffering from congenital friend syndrome and feeling
the soft comforting throb of anguish when certain emails come flying into my inbox.
It's not merely fantastic becuause I agree with the sentiment, or because the
words fuck, bitch, and asshole are used liberally and to
fantastic effect. It's a masterpiece because there are LINKS EVERYWHERE in the
thing, and they're used in fine support of a fairly commonly felt yet rarely
Now why did you want to go and slam the south like that.
Having grown up in Virginia (as in, the state dubbed 'the mother of
presidents'), I have to come to the defense of where I was born and
First, let me say that if backwards, narrow-minded thinking is the
criterion used in determining which region of the US to fuck, then
almost all of the various places I've lived in this country---from VA to
South Carolina to Western New York to St. Louis to the Bay Area---should
be fucked. Okay, well, maybe the Bay Area isn't narrow minded (at least
not in the traditional sense) but certainly the rest of California,
especially as you move inland, fits the bill.
Second, you can have all the links you want in an obnoxious screed like
that, and it doesn't mean it's accurate. For instance:
And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal
Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The
Authentic America. Really?
Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers
you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think
they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons
in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first
half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting
revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia?
New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments
are up here in our backyard?
Um, revolutionaries are not just restricted to the blue states. There
was this one cool document of the times called the Declaration of
Independence written primarily by Thomas Jefferson (a Virginian) that
had a little bit to say about whether we would continue to follow
British rule. Now, just before the Declaration was adopted, there was
something put forward called the Lee Resolution, which called for the
dissolution of all political ties between the colonies and England. Uh,
Lee was from Virginia, and just before the Declaration was given to the
Continental Congress for evaluation and discussion, the Congress voted
to adopt the Lee Resolution. At least most of the colonies did---New
York abstained. As regards the Declaration, it was as you know finally
adopted and on July 19, Congress ordered that all delegates must sign
the document. Interestingly, some delegates decided not to, including
John Dickinson of Delaware (who didn't agree with American independence)
and Robert Livingston of New York..
And you know this whole Constitution thing? The foundation of our
country's government and all that? Well the meetings that gave birth to
that began with George Washington (Virginian) being nominated as
president of the Constitutional Convention. As for the Convention, the
enlightened folks at the time (including Madison, Mason and Tyler ... uh
... Virginians) knew we needed a strong central government and not some
loose confederation of independent states. And that's what they set out
to debate when the Constitutional Convention was convened. Every state
sent delegates, except blue state Rhode Island who didn't want to give
up their independent state freedoms. Oh, and Virginian Patrick Henry was
against it, too. But only because he thought that centralizing power
would erode civil liberties. That would be addressed later. First, the
folks had to decide between competing viewpoints: The Virginia Plan
emphasized a strong central government, while the New Jersey Plan
emphasized states' rights. You probably guessed which viewpoint won out.
Now, the whole constitutional debate wasn't entirely noble---there were
all manner of back-alley deals struck between Southerners and New
Englanders trading slave-owner rights (south) for economic
considerations (north). And there was still this niggling problem of
personal rights and liberties, which were not mentioned in the
Constitution. Mason (VA) was especially concerned about this, as was
Richard Henry Lee, Patrick Henry, and Thomas Jefferson---all from VA.
This eventually led to the Bill of Rights, which was largely influenced
by Virginia's Declaration of Rights.
Here is a real link for you, not third-grade level encyclopedia entry:
Okay, that's about all I wanted say. Except that I do like his liberal
use of fuck, assholes, and especially dickwad.
And just so it's clear: I did not vote for Bush, I am agnostic, I drink
heavily, I have no love for the religious right and their version of
values, and I support gay marriage.