as if you gave a fuck
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Go Read This.

Nothing much that I want to make open public knowledge or worth griping about as of late.

Yes, GWB was elected, as I knew he would be - becuase this counrty is full of morons. Yes, I'm still working on that show - Soft open is next week. Yes, I'm more divorced and unlaid than ever. Yes, I'm still suffering from congenital friend syndrome and feeling the soft comforting throb of anguish when certain emails come flying into my inbox.

But that's not why I'm updating.

Dik found a glorious example of what true internet ranting is about:

It's not merely fantastic becuause I agree with the sentiment, or because the words fuck, bitch, and asshole are used liberally and to fantastic effect. It's a masterpiece because there are LINKS EVERYWHERE in the thing, and they're used in fine support of a fairly commonly felt yet rarely stated argument.

A true masterpiece, and one to be proud of.

Slap out

18 Nov 04

ADDENDUM! - 23 Nov 04

One of the many fans wrote this rebuttal...

Now why did you want to go and slam the south like that.

Having grown up in Virginia (as in, the state dubbed 'the mother of presidents'), I have to come to the defense of where I was born and raised.

First, let me say that if backwards, narrow-minded thinking is the criterion used in determining which region of the US to fuck, then almost all of the various places I've lived in this country---from VA to South Carolina to Western New York to St. Louis to the Bay Area---should be fucked. Okay, well, maybe the Bay Area isn't narrow minded (at least not in the traditional sense) but certainly the rest of California, especially as you move inland, fits the bill.

Second, you can have all the links you want in an obnoxious screed like that, and it doesn't mean it's accurate. For instance:

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

Um, revolutionaries are not just restricted to the blue states. There was this one cool document of the times called the Declaration of Independence written primarily by Thomas Jefferson (a Virginian) that had a little bit to say about whether we would continue to follow British rule. Now, just before the Declaration was adopted, there was something put forward called the Lee Resolution, which called for the dissolution of all political ties between the colonies and England. Uh, Lee was from Virginia, and just before the Declaration was given to the Continental Congress for evaluation and discussion, the Congress voted to adopt the Lee Resolution. At least most of the colonies did---New York abstained. As regards the Declaration, it was as you know finally adopted and on July 19, Congress ordered that all delegates must sign the document. Interestingly, some delegates decided not to, including John Dickinson of Delaware (who didn't agree with American independence) and Robert Livingston of New York..

And you know this whole Constitution thing? The foundation of our country's government and all that? Well the meetings that gave birth to that began with George Washington (Virginian) being nominated as president of the Constitutional Convention. As for the Convention, the enlightened folks at the time (including Madison, Mason and Tyler ... uh ... Virginians) knew we needed a strong central government and not some loose confederation of independent states. And that's what they set out to debate when the Constitutional Convention was convened. Every state sent delegates, except blue state Rhode Island who didn't want to give up their independent state freedoms. Oh, and Virginian Patrick Henry was against it, too. But only because he thought that centralizing power would erode civil liberties. That would be addressed later. First, the folks had to decide between competing viewpoints: The Virginia Plan emphasized a strong central government, while the New Jersey Plan emphasized states' rights. You probably guessed which viewpoint won out. Now, the whole constitutional debate wasn't entirely noble---there were all manner of back-alley deals struck between Southerners and New Englanders trading slave-owner rights (south) for economic considerations (north). And there was still this niggling problem of personal rights and liberties, which were not mentioned in the Constitution. Mason (VA) was especially concerned about this, as was Richard Henry Lee, Patrick Henry, and Thomas Jefferson---all from VA. This eventually led to the Bill of Rights, which was largely influenced by Virginia's Declaration of Rights.

Here is a real link for you, not third-grade level encyclopedia entry:

Okay, that's about all I wanted say. Except that I do like his liberal use of fuck, assholes, and especially dickwad.

And just so it's clear: I did not vote for Bush, I am agnostic, I drink heavily, I have no love for the religious right and their version of values, and I support gay marriage.


Oh yeah:
Plymouth (1620)
Jamestown (1607)

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