NO! NO I'M NOT!
I'm currently looking for the NEXT Ex-Mrs. SlappyJack.
For the interested, this is the kind of shit they do to you at Margaritaville on the strip in Las Vegas.
This is one big baloon hat for five people, made by a guy wearing a loud shirt, straw hat, and drywaller's stilts that made him nine feet tall. (He didn't even make the hat for us. Some other table of five left and they gave us theirs. He did take the picture, thus the high-ass angle.) The baloon guy also, when he was FEELIN' LIKE PARTYIN', would make sets of big boobs out of baloons for old men.
100 per-friggin-cent class!
The baloon guys also carried whistles. Why? So they could blow them during such favorites as Cheeseburger in Paradise, which was on the mind-warping All-Buffet soundtrack that looped every 70 minutes or so.
This is the kind of shit you do when friends come into town.
The nice looking woman to my left and her hub, to her left; are friends of my roommate/slumlord Chris. Chris it the not so nice looking guy to my right. The cutieface to his right is his loverly girlfriend Sandra. Unlike Chris, Sandra is very nice to me.
They also have a volcano that goes off every hour or so, complete with a mermaid coming out of the volcano (I know, and I don't know) and sliding down the side of it into a giant blender thats supposed to be full of margaritas!
I fucking hate Jimmy Buffet on principle. I fucking hate Vegas Schlock. I actually had agreat time here, though. I even liked the baloon guys... a little.
fuck. I'm getting soft in my old age. Either that or the giant rack of ribs I consumed made me logy.
This was all a couple of weekends ago.
This past weekend a friend of mine turned out to be in town. I know this because she called me at 1 am to ask where her and her friend gould go for cheap boozing; and oh yeah, did I have my car?
This is what people do to you in Las Vegas.
I took the two ladies to Dino's Lounge.
Don't go there, 'cause I want it all to myself. We had that cool of a time.
It was either the place or the fact that everyone else in there was jealous of
the dork in the thick plastic frames (see above - I got new glasses...) hanging
out with a couple of Super Hot Foreign Scientist Chicks.
I'm guessing it might be the second part.
jesus h christ, this is turning into a fucking blog.
4 Apr 04
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