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Talkin' smack since 1997
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Politicians and Clowns. Redundant?

SO.

The Iowa Caucus.

Impressions?

John Kerry? Nice guy. I'd be happy to vite for him, even if is does look a tad Ichabod-Craney.

Dick Gephardt? Well... You just can't have a president that looks that much like the 1960's Batman. Sorry, Dick. We just can not get past that one.

We're Americans. Shallow, remember?

When the fuck did Howard Dean turn into a WWF wrestler? Did you see that speech? Jesus H. Christ, I hald expected to see him gran a chair and start screaming into the camera like Stone Cold Fucking Steve Austin...

GEORGE BUSH!!!!!

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME PAIN?!?! 'CAUSE I'M READY TO DEAL IT OUT!

ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO MEET ME IN THE CAGE MATCH AT ELECT-O-MANIA NOVEMBER SECOND AT CEASARS ATLANTIC CITY?!?!?!?!

I mean, really. He's cool and younger and all, but I just find him a little scary...


...and speaking of scary, who the fuck decided that an almost completely agrarian state should ALWAYS set the tone politically for every fucking presidental election year in what is now considered to be predominantly a technological country?

What the fuck do a bunch of corn and jowl farmers have that makes them so important that the entirety of mass media spooge all ofer themselves in little tiny buildings in the middle of corn-land for a month and campaigns are stopped simply becuase these farm guys don't like the candidate.

I've lived in two of the biggest states in the country and never have the full compliment of candidates made it to either of them, and that isnt really fair. Just because the John Deere Salesmen union didn't like the guy who carried his laptop around with him everywhere doesn't mean I shouldn't get a better shake at voting for him.

Look, I have no problem with farmers, and I know this is coming across as snotty. It's late and I'm irritated. What farmers do is important and they're no lesser or greater than anyone else, but they're not so important they deserve to get the first home opener of the season every goddamn time.

Share the wealth, mah brothers. Maybe one of the other states would like a chance. You konw, one of the ones where we actually VOTE or something.

Someone find me a petition to this affect so I can go ineffectually sign it.

Blame Ray Kroc and Agribusiness. Noone likes them assholes, anyway.


One of the great joys of everyday is reading slashdot. Its basically a semi-moderated nerd-tastic free-for-all. For those not in the konw, people submit titbits of news and other stufff found online and everyone is free to comment on it. Regular users get to moderate (basically, judge) others posts to a small degree.

Its so good you can almost hear the time getting sucked away.

Two of the best posts so far:
8th Grader Suspended for Using 'net send' Command
Discussing this article

Internet Use Grows to 69 Percent of US Adults
Discussing this article

The fun of stories like polls about the internet is saying smartass things about how stupid most people are, as per my last comment:

The thing they always leave out of these numbers are the important ones. Of those 69% of adults that use the internet ....
  • < 1% have /. accounts
  • 1.15% have posted stuff on /. as an AC, then never came back again
  • 4% actually care that Microsoft is dropping support for Win98
  • 15% understand the concept of an Email Client
  • 18% are using a machine 6+ years old, and spend 3 hours a week calling tech support complaining how "their stupid software doesnt work"
  • 29% have seen goatse.cx
  • 37% use high speed connections
  • 43% Call their kids to ask them "Did you get the email I just sent you?"
  • 45% have emailled a newsgroup and yelled at them for using filthy curse words
  • 48% don't understand the difference between "download" and "install"
    • 15% are pretty sure they've "downloaded the internet"
    • 65% Think they need to "install the internet"
  • 50% are afraid to use their credit cards online, but will gladly give it over the phone to someone they've never met
  • 57% Have searched for the Paris Hilton Sex Video
    • 3% Were actually capable of finding it
  • 68% "accidentally" got one of them porn-modem-dailer-trojans "through no fault of their own"
  • 72% have lists of over 100 people to whom they forward jokes to
    • 6% actually strip out all the greater-than symbols and format the emails nicely
    • 18% send jokes multiple times a day
    • 88% have sent the "god kills kittens" picture
    • 97% do not understand why people are angered by this
  • 85% Think Outlook IS email, and MSIE IS the internet
  • 92% Send 4 Mb images to their friends that are still using modems
  • 95% Still Double-Click submit buttons
  • 98% are complete morons, and will never learn how to use their machines properly.
Progress, baby!
People found it funny. I felt validated.

See some of the other recent crap I wrote


I officially start working for the Circus Thursday.

The frenchies call it a Cirque, but I can't pronounce that as far as I can throw it.

I wonder if I'll get my very own set of tights.


State of the Union:
I listened to the first half of it, then was to disgusted to continue. At least that asshole has learned to say phrases without pausing in the middle of them, with most of the words pronounced correctly. This is a big improvment from 3 years ago, but still an embarassment to the country.

Goddamn he embarasses me.


Man, thats a lot of shit. Maybe I should get one of them goofy movable type systems.

nah. fuck that.

I can write my own.

Slap out

20 Jan 04

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