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American Chopper, The Drinking Game.

The Discovery Channel has, as of late, gone into this direction where a large amount of their programming is aimed at guys that want to watch other guys build stuff.

I LOVE this show.

Not to be outdone in the realm of television trends, Discovery has their first reality series, American Chopper, the story of Big Paul Teutul and his son, Paul Jr., and their business Orange County Choppers. Like all father-son teams, Big Paul and Paul Jr. yell at each other

Like, a lot.

Opinion on the guys on the show ranges from people loving them to people thinking they're just a pair of big doofuses.

I don't really know, but I like to watch all the welding.

In the tradition of great television like The Love Boat, I give you:


American Chopper, The Drinking Game

THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS:
  1. When someone days "Awesome," drink.
  2. When someone says "incredible," drink.
  3. In the unlikely event somone on the show should have the word "FAAAAAABulous" come out of their mouths, EVERYONE finishes their drink immediately.

  4. When Big Paul calls Paul Junior "stupid," drink.
  5. If Paul Junior comes back with "You're Crazy," drink again.

  6. Drink whenever Mikey is shown.
  7. Drink two if Mikey does something stupid.
  8. Drink Three if Paul Sr. OR Junior hits Mikey in any way.

  9. Drink when Big Paul is shown riding his chopper in a "pensive mood."
  10. Drink two if he is doing a philosophical vioceover during the shot.
  11. Drink three whenever Big Paul is shown slumming it by riding his Harley Davidson.
  12. Drink four if he's riding his HD and talking about how relaxing it is.

  13. On road trip, drink every time ANYONE mentions:
    1. how nice it is to get away.
    2. how hard it is to be on the road.
    3. how the trip is a great way to catch up on sleep.

  14. When Cody is shown working on a bike, drink.
  15. Drink Two when Big Paul gives Cody a fatherly hug or advice.
  16. Drink Two Paul Jr. acknowledges Cody's existence.

  17. If a fireman is shown with the "Fire bike", drink.
  18. If he's got the Dalmatian with him, drink two.
  19. If there is ALSO an actual fire truck shown in the background, finish your drink.

  20. Whenever Paul Jr. yells as Big Paul about how he never does any work. Drink.
  21. When Big Paul comes back with something about "I could come out of retirement and work circles around you," drink yet again.

  22. Drink everytime an object gets thrown.

  23. Drink whenever someone slams a door.
  24. Drink Three if the person slamming the door is Vinnie.

  25. Drink when Paul Jr. Test rides a new chopper.
  26. Drink two if the voiceover is Paul Jr. talking about how special the bike is.

  27. Dink whenever someone punches that punchy-dummy thingie.

  28. Drink if someone gets a new tattoo.

  29. If Mikey ever gets his motorcycle license in an episode, drink it down! Drink the whole thing! w00t for Mikey!

    ADDED/SUGGESTED BY READERS!

  30. Drink whenever Paul Jr. says "sick".
                                    - from: Closet Chopper Dude
  31. You should take a drink anytime Mike, Paul Jr., Paul Sr., or Vinny says, "But I gotta be honest with you."
                                    - from: Brian
  32. Drink anytime anyone uses the word "fabricate."
                                    - from: Matt
    I originally had some reservations about this one.
    With it, you'll probably not be sober enough to finish watching the show.
  33. Drink everytime someone says, "I gatta tell ya"

                                    - from: Deanna
  34. Drink whenever Paul Sr. invokes how big his feet are.
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
  35. Drink two if Paul Sr. invoked his feet by not only saying they are big, but their exact size. (Size 12).
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
  36. Drink whenever Paul Sr. Threatens to start kicking some butt
                                    - from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
    Kev originally wanted you to Drink three whenever Paul Sr says, "I'm gonna take my Size 12s and kick some Butt!!"
    I judged this as a RULE COMBO, and split it into three separate rules

    Slam-Dunk for Kevin! If I had any money, I'd send him a SlappyJack.com t-shirt.
  37. Drink once everytime Paul Sr. says, IDEAR                                 - from: Chad

That's about it. The first three rules alone are going to be enough to put a sailor under the table.

If you wanna add rules, sign up as a user!

Slap out.

16 Jul 03

ADDENDUM:

By the Throttle Cable of Jessy James! I'm apparently not the first person to think of this.

Beth Beat me to the Punch

Mother of Fuck.

On top of everything else, she is yet another person to be added to the list of people with better spalling and grammar than me.

26 Aug 03

ADDENDUM:

Note to the Teutuls:
A) As it's probably way too obvious by now, we all love the shit out of your show.
B) Paul Sr. is just like my Dad.

ADDENDUM 2:

Folks, I wanna know if any of you are actually PLAYING this game.

5 Sep 03

ADDENDUM 4:

Jesus Mary and Joseph!

Someone actually plagarized me: http://www.thehumorsource.com/joke.php?id=968

I've asked them to credit it properly, lets see what happens...

Ah, no wackiness, they credited it. YAY!

1 Oct 03

ADDENDUM 5:

I just got the following email form Brian of Mankato, Minnesota:

We finally played. It was a complete drunken mess by the end of the show.

Two thumbs up :)

I win!

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