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Flag wavin'!
Ya can't never be too patriotic!

The following was forwarded to my from my good pal thrustpuppy (yes, i know, guys with stupid online names are friends with other guys with stupid online names. deal.)

1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof you have voted at least 
   once in the last three elections (yes, local and state elections count).
2. To display an American flag in any form, you must present proof of 
   voter registration.
3. To wave an American flag in public, you must be able to name at least 
   one of the following:
      a) Your Senator
      b) Your Representative
      c) Your President 
            ("George Bush" does not count; too ambiguous)
4. To sell any product with an American flag on it, you must answer the 
   following question: The Bill of Rights is part of:
      a) the Constitution,
      b) the Magna Carta, or
      c) the Declaration of Independence?
5. Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may be asked to show their
   voter registration cards.
6. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you must be able to correctly 
   locate Afghanistan on a map or globe.
7. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you must list and correctly 
    locate ten Arab homelands.
8. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and Arab-Americans must pass
   the following test:
   a) Those who follow the religion of Islam are called:
      1) Moslems
      2) Muslins
      3) Fanatics
   b) The holy book of Islam is called:
      1) The Koran
      2) The Koram
      3) The Bible
   c) In Arabic, God is called:
      1) Ali
      2) Allah
      3) Jehovah
9. Priority for purchase of American flags will be given to those whose 
ancestors lived on American soil the longest. When all Native Americans 
who wish to display the red, white and blue are satisfied, other 
applicants will be accepted.
10. A call for war on any radio talk show will be construed as a public 
declaration of willingness to enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 
hours to complete the paperwork.

It's called perspective. get some, knee-jerk.

This also brought to mind the fact that there a fuckall lot of American Flags out there stuck to various vehicles that are so worn down by being flapped at 90 SUV-fuel-guzzling-miles-an-hour. One was Embarrassingly displayed as the entire front cover of the San Francisco Chronicle this morning.

For all you PATRIOTS out there, you may wanna take a brief look at the US CODE on how to properly display the flag.

Section Eight Specifically States:

No disrespect should be shown to the flag of the United States of America; the flag should not be dipped to any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are to be dipped as a mark of honor.


The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown.


The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning

If you wanna stick a flag on your fucking car, you better be prepared to pony up an additional 2 bucks to replace it, fucko.

Now get out of my face, you disgust me.

Slap out

11 Sep 02

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