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OOOooh I'm just a goy,
thats all I'll ever be...

Being that I'm now a maried man, I no longer have to starve when I'm feeling lazy. Being the best one ever, my wife makes meals a day ahead when shes got stuff to do the next night, because if she doesn't she knows she'll find me passed out on the couch surrounded by empty beer cans and an empty jar of peanut butter laying on my chest with the butter-encrusted spoon stuck to the side of my face

This week, i get Matzo(h) ball soup! I've never had matzoh ball soup before. What do you want? Being Italian/Polish-Catholic, I just about got the goy thing 110%.

I'm often made aware of this by my boss. Yeah, they guy that managed to talk down our final bill AT AN AUCTION and then had the balls to turn to me and ask "Why do they always make all the shady business guys in movies sound Jewish???"

Anyhow, being that my catholic lips had never touched Matzo before, I went to look it up online, and aparently Matzo is nothing more than a bunch of grains and salt held together by a big clump of egg.

Vegans apparently make it with wheat gluten, but I refuse to believe people can actually eat like that in the first place. I mean, they must crap adobe bricks, and that can't feel good.

During my investigation, I got this from Celebrity Deli:

In one of the many restaurant reviews written about Jack Cooper's over the years, the reviewer wrote about our chicken soup and matzo balls. "The chicken broth was light but tasty," wrote Jeff Milgram in 1991, "the matzo ball huge and squarely in the middle of the raging debate over whether matzo balls should be hard as cannon balls or light as air." Try a few dozen.
I SHORE DOES LOVE THE MATZOH BALL SOUP! This jewel of a page also has the sentence:
My grandmotherís balls were perfect (she said): blemish free...round as globes...the size of golf balls.
hee hee heh heh hee heh heh hunh heh hee heh heh hee heh heh hunh heh... Maybe she should get them looked at... hee hee heh heh hee heh heh hunh heh hee heh heh hee heh heh hunh heh...

Never did I realize there was a war raging over making the balls light or hard.

Anyhow, tomorrow night I am to take a can of chicken broth and boil a few of the balls in it. Next thing you know I'll be speaking hebrew...

Slap Out

22 Oct 01

If you haven't figured out by now, the only purpose of this update was so I could make the crack about "grandma's balls".

and take a swipe at vegans, of course. Who doesn't enjoy that?

ADDENDUM: 23 Oct 01

I ate the soup. It was good.

Thank you all for your support.

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