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apparently, it's just my problem.

In case you haven't heard, California is having some kind of power crunch.

Hmm. Center of Computing power. Explosion of population. Northern half of the state is so wires that homeless guys have cell phones.

We have an electricity problem, as in, we don't have enough of it.

There's a goddamn surprise. In typical fashion, noone even thought of the situation until it got to crunch time. Now no one wants to help out with it either.

See, folks, in the bay area, there is roughly one computer for every person. Period. now I know a lot of you are thinking "But Slap, there are a LOT of people there that don't have computers. What about them?"

Those folks are made up for by guys like me. Between work and home you could say I have between three and seven of them on any given day, and I'm not even a sysadmin. There are guys I worked with at Quokka that could count 20 - 30 machines against them on any given work day, as opposed to just four or five on their days off.

Even if you don't bother to factor in the fact that people have cell phones and batteries that they recharge a couple times a week, that amounts to a lot of power used.

every day.

The state gub'ment asks us to try to conserve just a little. I follow the wife around the apartment and turn off lights when she leaves a room to do my part. The state was turning off the lights on the christmas tree out in front of the capital building to set an example. the evening news would say every night "Folks, we've got an electricity crunch on. If you simply set your computers to sleep when they're not being used you can save up to 8% of your normal power usage. This would really help out the rest of state."

Of course, not enough people are doing this.

In addition, just to make me angire, they then run a story about how the electric compan[y|ies] is|are trying to build more powerplants to - gasp - make more electricity. (Yes, i know that powerplants really convert some other form of energy [kinetic, heat] into voltage, bear with me.)

No, that isn't the bad part. The bad part is that all of these powerplants are being opposed by the very people that need this power in the first place.

Yes, folks, its the classic NIMBY problem. No one wants to do their part. Apparently, it's ok to want the powerplants, so long as it isn't dropping your property values.

It's called a soceity, kids. Humans build them to make life easier for all of us, not just you. This means we all gotta do our parts and eat a little bit of the doodie sandwich just like everyone else.

... and to make it all just a little bit sillier...

PG&E somehow managed to get electric utilities as a business deregulated, so they can now complain that they don't make enough money and raised the rates. People now can bitch that they don't have enough power and the power they do get they're being overcharged for.

they've decided to do the math and figure out what the old rate was and pay just that part, "to send PG&E a message". Of course, the end result of this will be that these people get their power shut off (not to mention their credit reports fucked over) and the rest of us can go back to using all the power we need.

in the latest stupidity from work department... We have a little "Joke" section on the site where people can send in their "naughty" jokes to and we print the best ones we get every week.

Well, the joke pile has been all used up lately so a friend of mine sent me one. I guess it was in a movie that just came out. Not four days later one of our... uh... readers sent in the same joke from her AOL account, but... oh, hell, just look at it:

Joke as told To Slap Joke as sent in by AOL "user"
Superman is horny as hell and spots Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League building. She's lying there buck naked, spread eagle, like she wants to be fucked. So Superman says to himself, "Oh my God, I gotta get myself some of that wonder pussy." Superman then realizes he could fly down, "do a little fast pumping" and be gone before she even realized what happened. So Superman swoops down and does exactly that. Wonder Woman then sits up and asks, "What the fuck was that?" And the Invisible Man replies, "I don't know, but my asshole is killing me!!" Superwoman was laying nake on the top of a building rubbing her body when she was sun bathing. Superman was flying in the sky looking at her, he flew down and fucked and flew away after he flew away the building wass shaking. Superwoman woke up and said what happend. invisible man stood up and said my ass hole hurts.


This, Ladies and Gents, is the average internet shopper.

I just saw a marketing report that tells of how sites that do online registration for things have problems with AOL users because they don't know their own email address.

The wife's article in Esquire came out this week. Quite the overly-recealing piece, but nothing that bad, considering. The best part of the whole thing is the opening...

"And so, on certain special evenings, [she] will hand a small black plactic box to her partner in life and marriage, a fellow named Tony Saurini. Tony is thirty years old, a lovable, bookish, regular sort of man, living proof of the slogan on his T-shirt: CHICKS DIG SCRAWNY PALE GUYS."
i fucking rule.

For those of you that just saw the big picture of her on esquire and are now trying to track down dirt about her online so you can stalk her...

I really am her husband, and I've been trained by the United States to put rounds into a large grapefruit from 300 meters.

go away.

In another note about the wife, half the good jokes on her site these days?
Stolen from me.

with love,
Slap Out

10 Jan 01

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