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My Ass. As in, "You can kiss it."
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a typical night in my life.

On sunday nights, we have the kids over for dinner and TV night. Typically this involves talking about the last week and a generally nice time untill something sets off the dirty talk.

This week it was discussing getting a dirty cake for our christmas party. It was decided that since we're holding the impromptu company party and we sell sex toys, it should be a dirty cake...

    "What do we want on this thing?"
    "Santa fucking an elf!"
    "I think there should be lots of elves fucking all over and Santa getting a blowjob"
    "Bisexual Elves!"
    "I want Santa to be using elves like gerbils - you know, like Richard Geere"

Then, totally out of context...
    "I think Agent Doggett should be called Agent Faggot"
    "Everybody's gay."
riiiiight.

    "I like the idea of Santa and his reindeer flying into a giant vagina - you know, like the cake can be a big pussy."
    "I know! Scat Santa!"
    "What's scat?"
    "Oh, Shadee..."

and later...
Wife: "You know, when you get married, your life just starts to revolve around your pets,"
Paul: "Don't you feel special slap?"
Jeremy: "You're her pet."
Slap: "Why don't you all come over here and lick my sack as a group exercise?"
Paul: "Feel the Love!"
and then of course...
    "I hate this verizion commercial."
    "He's so gay."
    "I think it's important that there are more gay people in commercials."

Yeah, you all wish you were me.

Slap Out

3 Dec 00

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